Great is Thy Faithfulness

Have you ever been whopped by God in the head?

I mean, really whopped in the head to where you get that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach? Something you totally weren't expecting and you feel like you may have just been sucker punched?

I was sucker punched yesterday.

But my life is forever changed because of it.

Let me start at Friday...

I went home this past weekend to go with Mom to Miss Peanut (yes, Miss National Peanut Festival...look it up...I was in it in my pageant hay-day!) and to spend some time with her for her birthday! My mother is amazing and I am happy to spend what time with her I can, with the distance between Birmingham and dear ole Dothan seeming sometimes like it's Birmingham and Tanzania.

I was so happy to be in Dothan. It's a wonderful town full of people I know. And they know me! It's amazing that literally everywhere we went on Friday and Saturday, we saw someone that we knew! I never thought I would sing Dothan's praises, but it really is a great town to live, work and raise a family.

Ben and I have lived in Birmingham since we were married. He was raised here. He LOVES Birmingham. But we have been wrestling lately with a huge life decision about where we are going next. Ben desperately wants to be a police officer, and with the crazy economy, nobody has any money.

Except the Dothan City Police Department.

Is Dothan where we are supposed to be? Should we completely uproot our lives? Ben's job is over at the end of this month, but mine is definitely not. I love my job and my company. I have not once thought of leaving it. Then there's our house! We've only lived in it a year. We got the first time home buyer tax credit. If we sell within 3 years, we have to pay that tax credit back! We have savings, but NOT THAT MUCH! Then we have our friends and our church and everything we have come to know since we became a married couple.

We came to the conclusion that if Dothan is where we are supposed to be, that it will just happen. He'll test, he'll pass, and we'll go. But my mind was filled with worries and doubts. Is this the right decision?

Then Sunday came.

Sunday was filled with emotion as I walked into something I was totally not expecting. I was disappointed by someone who I have looked up to my whole life and who has been in the top ten list of most influential people of my life. I was dumbfounded, lost, saddened, numb, and most of all, confused. How could this happen? Has everything that has ever been said been a lie? Has everything been a facade? Are you a hypocrite?

Sucker punch.

Then Bro. Ed says, "In times of uncertainty, where are you looking?"

WHAM. Whopped in the head. Thanks, God.

What is WRONG with me?

Then this awesome, overwhelming calm and peace came over me that I know was not me. Totally came from God. Where am I looking?

I cannot place stock in other people. People are human. Humans make mistakes. People will always let me down because people are not perfect. Everyone in some way or another will disappoint me. That's everyone. Ben, Mom, other family, friends, people who I thought were friends, people I've looked up to, people I've looked down upon. EVERYONE.

You know who will NEVER let me down? Jesus Christ. The one person who was perfect. The one person who was 100% man and 100% God. The one who made Himself like me to experience my life so He could lay His life down for me so that I could be forgiven and worship Him forever in His kingdom as a redeemed child of God (Philippians 3:5-11)!

How awesome is that?

Why am I worried about how other people affect me? Why am I hurt and disappointed in someone so stupid as a human? It is bound to happen! We are imperfect creatures! We are sinners by nature. We will disappoint.

How do I overcome it? I forgive. I show grace. I give love. I move forward. I don't hold grudges against the person who has wronged me.

Why? Because I disappoint Jesus just about every second of every day and he forgives, shows grace, gives love, moves forward, and doesn't hold grudges against me. We are to love as we are loved, and to forgive as we are forgiven.

As I knelt at the altar of the Lord yesterday, I asked for forgiveness for myself. Forgiveness of of my stupidity. I put way too much into people and not enough into God. I gave it all up yesterday. The pain, the hurt, the worries, the doubt, the decisions, the problems...all up.

And the peace arrived swiftly, like the wind.

I no longer am hurt. I no longer am worried about where Ben and I will be in six months. So be it. Why am I worried about that anyways? He's already taken care of that; we just haven't gotten there yet!

He is before ALL things, and in HIM all things hold together. - Colossians 1:17

Are you so foolish? After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort? - Galatians 3:3

So, thanks, God, for the whop. I was able to share this peace with my mom and Ben yesterday. I hope I encouraged them with what I experienced and my new lease on life. Jesus is peace.

Random Fun Parrish Family Fact: After so much praying and thought yesterday, Ben and I took a cue from my parents in times of uncertainty: we went through our Bibles, wrote encouraging verses on computer paper and taped them throughout the house. That should get us through the next few months. Even Charlotte has one she can look at over her crate! :)