By His Wounds, We are Healed

There is something I need to tell you.

And this is something I'm going to tell you over and over again throughout your life.

I promise this is not the last time I am going to say it to you.

You were bought with a price.

A price that was paid with blood and pain, sacrifice and agony.

Although you are two weeks old and have not been given the opportunity to choose to sin, one day you will because you were born into sin. You were born into my sins, your daddy's sins, and all those who came before you.

Because of these sins, Jesus paid the price for your life with his own. He died so that you can live. Without his death, we would be separated from God forever. But Jesus became the path for us on that Good Friday long ago. He rose again on the third day and spends eternal life with our Father in Heaven. We will spend it with him, too.

By His wounds, we are healed.

One day, you are going to be old enough to understand this. You are going to ask questions - some I'll know how to answer, and some I won't. I'll do my best to explain something so unexplainable to you.

The day after you were born, our friends the Johnsons and Martins came to visit you in the hospital. Brian (the father of Emily Ann, who you are friends with but just don't know it yet) prayed for us before they left. In his prayer, he prayed that you would come to know the Lord at an early age, and that your life would glorify Him always.

I do so pray for this every day.

Both your daddy and I became Christians at young ages. I remember mine distinctly. It was VBS week at church, and I couldn't sleep one night. I felt that pull on my heart that I knew I was a sinner, and I needed Jesus to heal me. I walked out of my bedroom, and your Bubba was adjusting the thermostat in the hall. He said, "Katie - Go back to bed!" I told him, "But I want to be a Christian!" Big tears welled up in his eyes and he gathered the family around my bed. He made sure I understood the commitment I was making, and then I prayed the prayer with my family as witness. I still didn't sleep that night. My heart was so full and your GiGi had to tell me to stop singing songs because everyone else was trying to go to sleep.

I want this for you, too. I want you to become a Christian at an early age so that your life is steered by your Godly convictions. This is not to say that you won't sin, because you will. We all do every day. It's also not to say that you won't choose to ignore your convictions, because you will. Your daddy's and my life, and most people you will come in contact with, are living proof of this.

But you are forgiven already for everything you will ever do. When you are older, you will be confronted with the choice to accept this forgiveness.

Every night before bed, I hold you close and pray over you. I pray all these things for you. I pray that your daddy and I will raise you in a Godly home, where you will always see God's grace, love and forgiveness through our actions and words. I pray that you will have a desire to grow up in church, and that we will be committed to taking you. I pray that you will keep your heart guarded and pure, so that you don't go through the struggles I went through when my life was off track. I pray that you find a Godly man to marry one day who will affirm your convictions and seek the Lord before seeking you. I pray that your life will be pleasing to the Lord, and you will always find Him sufficient. And I pray that you will accept Jesus' forgiveness and understand his sacrifice.

My sweet child, this is the only way to live your life.

Like I said before, this is not the last time you will hear this. I will tell you all about His love and grace throughout your life. In fact, this is the second time I've told you this morning.

Because today is Good Friday. The sun is shining, the flowers are blooming, and your new life represents the joy of Easter. New beginnings and new birth, both physically and spiritually.

I love you, Brooke Allen. You were stitched together by a God who loves you even more than I do with an unconditional love that will never be forgotten. You can do nothing that will ever separate you from His love.

PS - I am a featured blogger today at my dear friend Courtney's blog, www.courtneykirkland.net. Check it out!

Christmas Day!

I can't believe Christmas has already come and gone. With our focus being so much on Ben's graduation and the baby, I feel like we really didn't have time to enjoy the season as much as we usually do!

It just means I'll leave my Christmas tree up a little longer this year...

We started last week by going to Jackson for a few days. I don't have any pictures of that, but we had a blast with Ben's dad, Robbie, Will, and the rest of the family. We went to a Mississippi State basketball game one night and we were able to see *most* of the family before we left.

When we got back into town on Friday, Mom met us in Birmingham, and we headed over to Ms. Brenda's for Christmas with her. She was going to Jackson the next day, so we did our Christmas a little early.

Ms. Brenda gave me this beautiful bird house that matches the colors of the nursery. I can't wait to find the perfect place for it! She also gifted us a drawing of our house. Since it is our first house, I will always treasure that special gift! We ate a yummy dinner and enjoyed each other's company!

Mom and I were able to play on Christmas Eve. We worked a little in Brooke Allen's room by hanging up all her clothes and throwing out some more junk hiding in the room. We went to the grocery store to prepare for the week and waited for Ben to come home from work. Once he was home, we went to dinner, and then Mom and I set out for Huntsville.

Wes and Dervon's flight came in at 8:53pm on Christmas Eve. We were so excited to see them!!!!!

Christmas morning came, and Ben was at work. So we decided to go to church on Christmas morning. It was pretty awesome to worship our Savior's birth actually on Christmas Day.

After church, we headed home for lunch and played a game of Uno to kill the time before Ben got home from work. When he finally did get home, we pretended it was Christmas morning - complete with pajamas!

No, these weren't all for me. Most were actually for Brooke Allen...

Charlotte started out the gift opening with a rubber chicken from her MamaSyl. It squeaked REALLY loudly and she REALLY liked it...

...and it was subsequently accidentally kicked under the chair by her Uncle Wesley until gift opening was over.

Brooke Allen got more presents than anyone on Christmas morning. Her dad just so happened to open the Bama gift...haha...a Bama onesie and some Bama hairbows. PERFECT! Roll Tide, Daddy!

She also got her very own Polar Express book and bell to read every Christmas. It just so happens to be her Mom's favorite Christmas story also... Her other presents included a piggy that vibrates, and some cute little sleeper outfits from the Florida Thorntons.

My sweet husband bought me a new watch. I was easy to shop for since we picked it out together...

Mom gave me a sewing machine to make Brooke Allen all those cute little outfits! Wes and Dervon gave me a sewing accessory kit with lots of thread, scissors, measuring tape and lots more.

Ben got a new Garmin from me, a History DVD from Wes and Dervon, and a new video camera from Mom so he can record all the cute things his baby will do in the next year.

Wes got a DVD and book from me and Ben, a book about India from Mom (they're going on vacation there this spring), and a Florida Gator duffle bag from Dervon.

Dervon got a Hello Kitty makeup brush set from us, diving lessons from Wes, and a spice rack from Mom for their new apartment they are moving into next month!

Wes gave Mom a Willow Tree statue with a folded flag in honor of Granddaddy, and I painted an old window with an American flag. Mom is very patriotic. :)

Next, it was time for stockings!

These goobers bought each other the same card...meant to be? I think so! :)

And then the guys modeled some goodies from their stockings, as they usually do...while actually wearing the stockings...They both received claws and spy glasses.

But the best gift of Christmas is spending time with family.

After gifts, we had breakfast...for dinner. French toast, scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, fruit and yogurt. It was quite yummy!

Then we gathered around the table to play Apples to Apples. Lots of laughs with this game!

It is so hard to believe that this is our last Christmas as a family of two and a dog. Next year, sweet little girl will be joining us. As much as I love the way things are now, I can't wait to share Christmas with my children - buying gifts, watching their excitement on Christmas mornings, taking lots of pictures and videos, having our very own family traditions, and most importantly, sharing the REAL meaning of Christmas with them - the birth of Jesus and how He changed everything.

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

We've known about you for over 12 weeks now. I won't ever forget how excited I was to see the word "pregnant" on the test, or the look on your Daddy's face when I screamed from the bathroom door, "WE'RE PREGNANT!"

I've begged your Daddy for you for about a year. He told me, "After a while," and "when we're both ready." The truth is, nobody is ever ready. It's just when the timing was right for both of us.

We'll find out if you're a boy or a girl on the 29th of this month. If you're a boy, you'll be Jakob Paul, and we'll call you Jake. If you're a girl, you'll be Maggie Grace. I can't WAIT to find out so I can begin preparing for you to come home. You'll need clothes and toys. We have to decorate a nursery and hang your name on the wall. Will your bedding be blue or pink?

Your grandparents are so excited about you. They're all going to be there on the 29th to see your little face. We've seen you once before, but you were just a peanut. Now we'll see your nose, your eyes, your fingers, your toes.

I can't wait to kiss those toes.

Your heartbeat is what amazes me every time. It's strong and fast. Your Daddy says that you must be like me - feisty. But hearing that little heartbeat helps reassure me that you're OK in there. You're living and growing and getting stronger, so that when you do come home, you'll be healthy and happy.

I can't wait to find out who you are - who you look like, what your personality is like, and who you grow up to be.

Will you look more like Daddy or like me?

We know you'll have blue eyes because both Daddy and I do. But I hope you get Dad's eyes - his are the most beautiful blue color you've ever seen. But will you have my red hair or Dad's brown hair? Everyone says red, and I secretly pray that you do. You'll be tall, with really ugly toes. Sorry - both Dad and I are cursed with ugly toes. And I hope the Bankston skinny genes creep up in you. Otherwise, you may end up with the Benson butt.

Will you act more like Daddy or like me?

Your dad is laid back and easy going. I'm energetic and a little high strung. Maybe you'll be a combination of both. I feel sorry for Daddy if you're more like me - he will have to handle two of us.

Who will you grow up to be?

You could be anybody. You could be a teacher, a business owner, or a janitor. You could be President. You could be a missionary. You could aspire to be like your Dad and join the police force, or another civil service. I just hope you're happy and and you are the best you can be.

I feel so lucky already to be your Mom. The Lord has richly blessed us by sending you to us. He already knows who you are, and He picked your Dad and me to raise you because we are the best parents for you. I will always feel honored to be chosen to be your Mom.

I hope to teach you all you need to know. I want to encourage you to be your best self. I want to teach you to be respectful, caring, and thoughtful. I want you to be strong and courageous. I want to teach you to seek the Lord and live by His Word. I want to help you find how you are gifted, and use those gifts to pursue your purpose in life.

Most of all, I want to be those things for you. I want to be a role model for you to look up to. I want to show God's love, not just talk about it. I want to be an open door for questions and conversations. I want to always be there for you and I hope you never feel like I'm not.

Because I am.

I have been entrusted with your life. I am going to make mistakes along the path. But I am going to be the best Mommy I can be for you. I will hold you and kiss you every chance I get, even when you're a teenager and are too cool for my kisses. I will encourage you to make your own decisions, but I will discipline you when your decisions are not the best. I will give you what you need, but I will make you earn what you want.

There are going to be days that you hate me. We are going to fight and I am going to ground you. You are going to pout and we're both going to say things we'll regret. But I am doing these things because I love you. You'll realize that later in life.

There are going to be days when we'll be best friends. I hope those are days that will live in your memory and you can pull from them when I'm gone.

I love you already, Baby P. And I will love you forever.

Love, Your Mom

Blessed Assurance

Heaven gained another hero a few months ago.

My Granddaddy.

Hero is not a word that my Granddaddy took lightly. In fact, he hated being called a hero. Granddaddy, known to others as William (Bill) Leon Benson, Sr., dropped out of high school to be drafted into the United States Navy in World War II. He served in the European theatre in several major battles. Two of those were Operation Tiger and D-Day.

You all know what D-Day is, but you've probably never heard of Operation Tiger. That's because it was classified for many years. It was a practice drill for D-Day, and it took place on Slapton Sands off the coast of England. During this drill, they were attacked by German U-Boats. All the deaths of that day are attributed to D-Day, in fear that D-Day would fail if information was released.

Granddaddy survived both.

We knew nothing of his time at war for years. All we knew was that he was a cook in the Navy somewhere in Europe. He never spoke about what he experienced, until the movie Saving Private Ryan came out. That's when he told us, "I was there."

His job with the Navy was the drive the landing craft onto the beach to release the soldiers.

He only had to make one pass onto Omaha Beach.

He said the movie depicted it perfectly. Men lying motionless in the water, clogging the beach to where the landing crafts couldn't even reach the shore. Soldiers having to jump out of the boat in hopes to reach the shore, but being dragged under because of the weight of their packs and the tide. The first line of men never making it off the boat because they were mowed down by German machine gun fire after the doors were let down.

Granddaddy always said, "The water was red. Red with American blood."

Granddaddy saw this with his own eyes. Even until his last days, he would have nightmares about these experiences - hearing the men screaming, seeing them in the water, and he was helpless to save them.

It is because of these men that Granddaddy did not like to be called a hero. He said those who died on those days, and all throughout the war, were the heroes. He was just another man, doing his duty to his country.

We, of course, feel differently.

Granddaddy is a hero because he came back. He lived to tell the stories of these thousands of men whose lives are often forgotten from a war that is often forgotten. He wept every time the National Anthem was played or he saw the flag raised. He believed in that flag and in those words and he had lived it out. He is a hero because he spent many sleepless nights weeping for their pain and praying for their families.

And thanking God that he was fortunate enough to return to build a life for his family in the country he loved so much.

After the war, he married my Grandmother, who he had fussed and fought with through the mail the entire time he was gone. They met before he was drafted at a scrap metal drive at the local high school. He liked to tell people "she was the best piece of scrap I found all day."

Somehow or another, she got mad at him while he was gone, and burned all his letters from war. We will never know why they were fussing, or the sweet things that he said to make up for it in those letters.

They married quickly, and then had babies quickly. My Aunt Pug (Sharon) came just a little over 9 months after their wedding day, and my Uncle Billy, just a little over a year later. It was nine more years until my mom came along.

Grandmother told me last week nobody told her how to prevent things. All three babies were accidental blessings.

Their children blessed them with six grandchildren, five grandchildren-in-laws, seven great-grandchildren, two great-great granchildren, one great-grandchild with him in Heaven, and our sweet little girl on the way.

Granddaddy told my husband before we got married that we didn't have in-laws in this family. We are all family. Once you're in, you're in.

Then he told Ben in a very quiet voice, "And if you hurt my grandbaby, you'll have to answer to Granddaddy." Even though he was quite feeble at the time, I think he meant it.

We all had a different relationship with Granddaddy, but ours was extra special. It's probably because I'm the favorite. :) I am the youngest grandchild. For a very long time, I was the baby in the family.

I spent countless hours on Granddaddy's "good" knee (the other had shrapnel in it from the war) while he told me stories, played Ride a Little Horsey, and singing his favorite song, Little Boy Blue.

Little Boy Blue was a song I'm pretty sure he made up and it had eleventy billion verses that were different every time. I was not allowed to get up until he decided he was finished.

His chair was always in the same place, and he was guaranteed to be there working crossword puzzles, reading the paper, or watching the Braves. Every time I walked behind his chair, I would mess up his hair (what little was there) or give him a kiss on the top of his head. It always made him grin and say, "I love you, baby."
I am going to miss him now every time I walk by that chair. I will miss going to their house and getting a big bear hug from him as a greeting. I will miss the way he picked at Grandmother until she got so frustrated with him that she threw up her hands. Then he would grin at us like a little boy. I will miss the way his voice got low when the conversation turned to something serious. I will miss the way he beamed when watching his grandchildren play or holding a new grandbaby for the first time. I will miss hearing him get choked up while saying the prayer before meals at family gatherings as he spoke of the loved ones who aren't here with us.

But praise God for blessed assurance. I know without a shadow of a doubt where my Granddaddy's faith stood. He spoke of the love of his Savior often. He was the faith leader of our family. He attended his church every Sunday, and when his body would no longer allow him to, he would listen to church on the radio, or watch it on his little TV that sat by his chair. When my mother was little, he would have her bring a hymnal to him, and she would sit on the arm of his chair, and he would sing her hymn after hymn.

I know today he is where he longed to be for several years since his health began to deteriorate. He is with his Savior. He is singing those hymns with the angels. He is having long conversations with my Dad. He is playing with our sweet Allie. He is walking on able legs, seeing with able eyes, and breathing with able lungs.

And he is waiting on the rest of us to join him.

How He Loves

Because we all need to be reminded sometimes...

He is jealous for me

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree

Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.

When all of the sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

I realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me.

Oh, how He loves us.

We are His portion and He is our prize

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes.

If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.

Heaven meets Earth like an unforseen kiss

My heart turns violently inside of my chest.

I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us.

He loves us.

Oh, how He loves us.

RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: 50% of all pizzas in the US are sold with pepperoni as a topping.

Who am I?

Have you been watching/reading/hearing about Japan's tragedy?

I'm not. I refuse to.

As much as I typically lack in the sympathy area, the photos, stories, and news bits about the tsunami make my heart overflow with sadness and empathy.

And guilt.

Guilt?

Yes, guilt.

Guilt because I sit here on my couch on my day off from my relatively easy job.

Guilt because I know where my husband is because he just texted me.

Guilt because my family is safe in their respective places on this earth.

Because tomorrow, I will more than likely wake up again.

Because my house is sitting on dry land with the birds chirping outside.

Because I can go outside to my car and drive around any time that I want to.

Because the only errands I have to accomplish today are taking the comforter to the dry cleaners and folding a mountain of laundry.

Because I complain about the measly things in life that are so easily fixed, like my bank being idiots and not putting my paycheck in last night.

Because I know that my earthly father resides with my Heavenly Father.

Because I am safe, healthy, and happy, while God allows so many to not be.

Why, God, why am I chosen to live so easily? So carefree?

There are people in places who do not know where their mother is because she's been washed away by flood waters. They do not know where their next meal is coming from or when it is coming. They do not know if a guerilla soldier will bust down their door to rape and plunder in the next five minutes. They do not have any other way of life but crime or prostitution.

They do not have understanding of a merciful and loving God, only gods who do not exist.

Why am I chosen?

I have done nothing to deserve this life that I live. Sure, I was born into a family who has generally always been "middle class" by American standards. I am educated to work hard at my job to create this life that I live. I have a home, a car, a bank account, a family, a husband, a dog, and food in my fridge.

I live my life free of worry.

But I did not earn it. I was blessed with it.

Am I supposed to feel guilty for this?

I have no control over rain and floods. I cannot stop the horrible things that happen to people. It is not possible for me to provide a meal to every single starving person.

Is anyone else experiencing this guilt, or am I the only one?

Maybe I am more sympathetic than I thought.

All I can do is pray.

Pray for God to save a culture of people who, as a whole, do not believe in Him. Pray that He will work miracles for these people who will never give Him the credit for it. Pray that if there is anything I can do, no matter how small, that I will do it. Pray that those people who are there who do know Him will be able to reach more because of this tragedy. Pray that our own nation will rise against the wicked path that we are walking and again return to the God of creation.

And I will be thankful for this blessed life that I live.

Every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day.

My prayers shall be those of thanksgiving and praise, even when I feel like my small, cushy world has been turned upside down.

Because this small, cushy world is not mine.

RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: There are still almost 8,000 people reported missing in Japan, and over 5,000 already confirmed dead. This is one of the largest death tolls in natural disaster history, and it is not completed.

God is in Control

Sometimes in life things happen that you never plan for.

When we were pulling into Atlanta on Monday night, Mom called me to tell Brittany and her 15-month old son, Shep, had been killed in a horrific car accident outside of their hometown.

Brittany dated a boy from my high school. Our senior year, she won Miss Ozark the same time I won Miss Houston County. We went to Troy together, where we pledged different sororities, but were picked for Freshmen Forum together.

We went to Miss National Peanut Festival together. Brittany, Kristen (Miss Dothan), Whitney (Miss Ashford), Courtney (Miss Walton County), some others and I all buddied up together throughout the week. We all kept each other sane through the pageant. We could have no contact with anyone from the outside world, so we became a family. We were each others hairdressers, stylists, and psychiatrists.

Brittany is third from the right on the bottom row, next to Kristen, who is next to me, on the end.

We cried together when we saw our fans standing outside the Civic Center while we boarded the bus. We laughed at the one girl who drove us NUTS. We complained to each other about how stressed we were and we were all just ready to go home.

And we cheered like crazy when Brittany won.

Brittany represented the best in each of us. She was smart, but relatable. She was charming, yet soft spoken. And, good grief, she was beautiful and her smile could light up a room.

She decided last minute to put her hair up for evening gown, saying, "My Mom is going to be so mad at me!" But she was stunning in that blue dress. She won over the crowd as we watched on closed circuit backstage by saying, during her onstage question, the moment she accepted Christ as her Savior was her proudest accomplishment.

When we did roll call on the bus after the pageant and they called Brittany's name, we all shouted, "She's not here!!!!!" because she was in the limo being escorted as the new Miss National Peanut Festival.

Brittany gave up her crown in 2005. She then went on to marry and have a beautiful son and a successful career as an elementary school teacher.

She touched so many lives in the short time she was here on Earth.

When Mom told me of the news Monday night, my first thoughts went to her husband. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain that Clint is experiencing right now. To lose your wife and your son both in a matter of hours is incomprehensible unless you experience it. To know that they both had so much left to live is heartbreaking.

Many, many prayers have been lifted in the past few days for Brittany's family - prayers for peace, comfort, and strength. Thank our God that we all know Brittany's faith and that we will all see her again one day in Heaven.

Life is short.

I looked at Ben Monday night with new eyes, knowing that it could all be over in seconds, if that was God's will. I told him that I love him countless times, because each time could be the last time I tell him. I constantly touched his arm, held his hand, gave him kisses, or hugged him, because I never want to forget the feeling of him. I do not want to imagine life without him. I cannot fathom him not being beside me for the plans we have made. I do not want to know the pain of losing him, especially when he has so much left to give. I do not want him to experience this pain, either.

I know that life in Heaven is so much greater than life here on Earth, but I want to savor every bit here that the Lord allows me to have.

Lord, may we never forget that You are in control of all things - including life and death. We know that all things come from You, and Your plan is greater than any plan we could have for ourselves. Thank you for the comfort in knowing that we as Christians will be with You in eternity, along with all those who have passed before us who claim You as their Savior.

Brittany, thank you for shedding your light on those you touched. We will never forget you.

All Things New

Lord, grant me patience.

I'm not going to go into stinky details, but I will tell you that it has not been a fun week in the Parrish household.

Ben and I have been at each other's throats all week. We've been putting a lot of pressure on each other and the bottle exploded.

On top of work, home, Charlotte, time, and everything else that strains us, we forgot about marriage.

We both have so much to work on.

I tend to blame Ben for my problems, when it's not him at all. Ben has to have patience with my while I sort this out.

Ben has some stuff he has to work on, too, none of which are easy obstacles to overcome. I need patience to wait for him and support him while he tries.

Lord, heal my heart.

A lot of really awful things were said to each other on both accounts.

Actions were taken that need to be forgiven.

Somehow, we became people that we aren't, and it's created a rift between us that feels like a giant canyon a million miles wide.

It's amazing to sit right next to my husband and yet feel so distant.

Our hearts need to heal and forgive each other for the mistreatment we both caused for each other.

Lord, thank your for your constant commitment and our many blessings. Remind me daily of these things, especially when I am feeling less than confident.

Yesterday, I felt like a rock rolling down a hill.

I started out fine.

Then, I got that gentle push downwards.

So, I started rolling.

The farther I got, the faster I went.

Then, I would go SO fast, that I couldn't keep up with myself, so I started flying.

I literally made myself sick from the worry.

But, I am so blessed.

I am blessed to live in a home, have food to eat, and a car to drive.

I am blessed that I can pick up the phone and call my mom when I need her.

I am blessed that I have a husband who loves me despite my faults and shortcomings.

I am blessed to have a God who created me to be me.

Lord, thank you that you make all things new.

Today is a new day.

I will choose to be positive and forgiving.

I will choose to love my husband the way I am commanded to.

I will choose to express myself rationally and like an adult.

I will choose to be the best ME I can be.

Praise the Lord for brand new days.

RANDOM TRIVIA FACT: I heard on the news that a 400=pound lady somewhere stabbed her roommate in the middle of the night for eating her Girl Scout Thin Mints. She really loves her some Thin Mints.

The Shape I'm In

I had a long weekend from work this past weekend.

Let's just say I was not ready to go to work today.

Back to the grind, as usual.

Remember the Giselle diet?

Yeh, the one I'm on to lose some weight and tone it up before our cruise in May.

I totally failed last week.

It started with some M&Ms, and then a little Burger King, and ended with doughnuts on Saturday morning.

BAD KATIE.

And Ben is a bad influence on me. First thing he said to me on Saturday morning, stinky breath and all, "Want to go to Krispy Kreme?"

Who can resist that stinky breath, messy hair, sleepy eyed look from their husband when all they have on their mind is doughnuts?

I had a chocolate iced doughnut Saturday morning.

And we bought some for Sunday morning, too.

We are back in full swing with the regime today!

Back to the gym (I bought new workout pants at the Nike outlet store yesterday. SCORE!) where I punched out 3 1/2 miles on the elliptical, plus my weight training.

Then we headed to Publix (aka Heaven) afterwards to get food for the week.

This week's menu:

fresh grilled salmon with fresh green beans

homemade soup with chicken and veggies (I posted this recipe already)

grilled lemon chicken with sweet corn

grilled steak with new potatoes and broccoli

YUM!

*SUBJECT CHANGE*

Ben and I have been doing a little searching and a lot of thinking.

We visited another church last week and this past Sunday.

We feel like maybe God's leading us to somewhere new.

Somewhere out of our comfort zone. At this other church, we don't know anybody (actually, I know one person, but it was pure coincidence running into her after the service). We are total strangers to these people.

And it's just DIFFERENT. Ben and I grew up in similar churches. Southern Baptist churches are pretty much all the same. You know when to stand up, sit down, pass the offering plate, etc.

There's nothing WRONG with that. We're just not being challenged by it. Church is supposed to challenge you, not go in one ear and out the other, which is how we've felt for a while.

That's not to say that others are feeling the same way. Others could hear the same thing and be totally challenged by it. This is solely about Ben and me and the point we are at with our relationship with God. The church we have been attending is a great church full of great people. We just may be moving in a different direction.

So, the past two times we've been to this church, we've left the sermon feeling challenged. The sermon was applicable to life and we could use it. God could use us.

Are we sure we're going to join this church? No. We're going to visit their small groups first and see if it is a move we want to make.

It's just a weird feeling to know that different could be better than what we already had, which was great.

Sorry for my ramblings. It's a Monday. My brain is on auto-pilot.

RANDOM MUSIC MONDAY

Talk about stuck in your head. And I don't even like Joe Nichols, but this song is great.

Keep your tissues handy for the video, btw. Thanks to our military for serving and sacrificing. Never forget.

The sun came up again this morning

I took my old fastback for a spin

Now when it rains, it ain't always pouring

And I'm learning how to live again.

Sinners Like Me

A blog of serious note today...

Hubby and I have been talking about this basically on a daily basis for about a week now.

We are having major issues with SEEING Jesus in people.

Does this sound crazy?

Absolutely. It should. Seeing Jesus in people should be easy considering we are made in His image and are supposed to be reflecting Him in everything we do, right?

Wrong.

I've always thought about reflecting Jesus by being the way Jesus was while he was here on the Earth. Take his ministry for example:

Jesus wasn't just hanging out with the disciples all the time. His ministry would have been pointless, had that been the case. He did not come clothed as a king or a priest, who would have been expected to be an elitist. He came as a carpenter - an everyman - who people found unbelievable to be the Savior of the Nation.

Think of the people He associated himself with - He ate dinner with the tax collector, a known thief and cheat. He healed the lame, sick, and demon possessed whose culture believed sin caused their illness. He healed the child of the Roman centurion, a hated man in Israel. Some of the disciples themselves were less than glorious creatures - fishermen. They were smelly, single men with no status symbols.

Not who the Savior of the Nation was supposed to be.

So why do we as Christians feel like we should surround ourselves ONLY with other Christians?

Aren't we missing the point?

Jesus was radical. He went against everything that hundreds of years of Jewish teaching had taught. He made FRIENDS with these people who were unsavory and unclean. He became relatable and loving and caring on these people who society said were undeserving. Jesus was a REBEL.

Ben and I feel like our whole life it has been drilled into our heads that we should stay away from the bad influence people and be friends only with Godly people. Has church not taught us that? Have our parents not taught us that?

"Stay away from him - he has issues."

"Don't hang out with her - she has a reputation."

"People will think you are just like her if they see you with her."

How are we ever going to win those people without being their friend? How can we show them Christ's love without loving them? All we are showing them by ignoring them is everything they have ever believed about Christians - elitist...hypocrytical...holier than thou...fake...closet sinners...

We can't just throw a tract at these people, promise to pray for them, and never think about them again. We can't condemn them for sin and then live a life of sin ourselves. We can't proclaim a life of outreach only to concentrate on foreign countries (while important, don't get me wrong) and forget about the person sitting at the desk next to us who needs Jesus. We can't take for granted that we live in the Bible Belt and everyone has heard of Jesus. We can't exclude people from our lives because we are afraid of the influence they will have on our appearance. We can't choose to surround ourselves only with Christians when we are supposed to be reaching out to sinners.

And I'm talking on a DAILY basis. This is not a one afternoon of the month, one week of the year thing. This is people we come in contact with every day. Not just the homeless or the broken down or the sick, which is who are charitable minds tend to gravitate to. These are a friends, our co-workers, the person standing next to us in line at Wal-Mart. People considered "clean" and "whole" by society. This is habitual evangelism (I'm pretty sure I just made that up - but I love it).

We are called evangelistic for a reason.

Our sinners nowadays are a little different. We don't come in contact with the lame and leper everyday. Identifying the problem is a little harder sometimes. Another thing Ben and I talk about is our call to missions. Some people are called to full-time missions overseas. Some people are called to full-time missions here in the country. Some people are called to work with the homeless and the abandoned. Ben and I feel like we are called to work with the normal.

Does that sound strange?

We feel like we are called to work with the every day person with the not so obvious issue.

The man with the good job, good family, grew up in church, but doesn't know Jesus.

The woman who loves Jesus but is questioning her belief after the sudden death of her husband.

The youth who are peer pressured just like we were in high school and college.

We feel like we are called to just BE with these people. Be their friend. Listen to their issues. Take it slowly. Bring out the Jesus when they are ready to listen and they can trust us.

HOW we're going to do that, we're not sure. We haven't quite figured that out yet. But we do know we're not going to stop hanging out with our sinner friends and we're not going to condemn their sins. Do they know where we stand? Yes. Do they know where they can come to hear about Jesus? Yes. Am I armed and ready for a theological argument? YES.

Am I going to push them away by shoving Jesus down their throats? No.

I'm still going to invite them to my home. We're still going to go bowling with them. I'm going to pray and hope that one day they take things seriously. But, if I want them to do that, I've got to have them trust me. From experience, the quickest way to push someone further away who is already running is to try to force feed them what they are running away from. They've already chosen not to listen - they don't want to be told every second why they should.

So, I love them unconditionally and pray for the day that they come home.

I am a sinner, too, and at several points in my life, people have reached out to me similarly. I was not shunned or excluded. I was continually welcomed in and loved for who I was as a person, not just as a Christian. We are all failures. We all deserve second chances and forgiveness, because we were first forgiven.

There were times then, and times now, when I am excluded for who I was then and who I am now. I sometimes am excluded for the people I associate with (which proves my point!!!!). I hope to never exclude someone for past or present sin. Life is hard and people make mistakes. All people deserve love and acceptance.

This is how I hope people see Jesus in me.

Really Random Off the Subject Blog Note: Miss America is Saturday! Miss Alabama, Ashley Davis, is from Dothan and has already won the preliminary swimsuit award! Check it out on ABC Saturday night!