The Trail

Your big sister, Charlotte, has been feeling a little depressed since you've come home.

She knows she's not queen of the roost anymore, and she's had a few fits of jealousy.  She's never shown any aggression towards you (in fact, I caught her kissing you the other day), but she steals your blankets and burp cloths.  She needs attention, and most importantly, she needs exercise.  Unfortunately, we haven't been able to give her enough of either.

So your daddy and I decided to take advantage of the sunny day today and get out of the house.  We put Charlotte on the leash and you in the Baby Bjorn and walked the trail at Ross Bridge.

It was beautiful weather.  The trail provides just the right amount of shade and a nice breeze, so I didn't worry about you getting sunburnt or too hot. 

Charlotte loved being able to explore a new place.  She went back and forth in front of Daddy, sniffing everything.  She loves being outside and getting exercise.

You were perfectly content in the Bjorn right up next to my chest.  You stayed awake pretty much the whole time.  You love being outside, too.

Walking the trail today gave your Daddy and I good quiet time to talk, and for me to think.

We came across an open area, and I could just imagine a birthday party for you there when you're older.  Picnic tables, balloons, cupcakes, and bug spray.  You and your friends playing tag in the fresh air.  Parents standing around, enjoying watching their kids do something besides video games.

As we walked, we talked about how much fun we will have here on Saturday mornings, taking you for walks.  I can see you running all over the place, picking flowers and Daddy teaching you how to skip rocks in the stream.  Squealing with delight when you find a bug and asking questions about the nature around you.

It made me realize that one day, you're going to grow up.  You won't fit in the Baby Bjorn anymore.  You won't want to ride up close to my chest.  You'll want to be free.  Instead of me holding you, I'll be chasing you.

I don't think I'm ever going to be ready for you to grow up.  I love you as a baby.

But then I remember that you're always going to be my baby, no matter how old you are. And you will be so much fun when you really begin to learn and play.  

So, today, I hold you as a baby, trying to capture every little moment in my memory, so that one day, when I watch you run down that trail, I can remember how far you've come.  How far we've come.

2 Months Old

Today, you are two months old.

Every day, you are changing.  Your face, your body, and your personality are growing so quickly.  I can't keep up.

At your two month appointment, you weighed 10 pounds, 11 ounces (up 4 pounds, 9 ounces since birth - 60th percentile) and 24 1/2 inches tall (up 4 inches since birth - above 95th percentile aka OFF THE CHARTS).  Dr. Stone listened to your heart and lungs, checked your hips, and your head.  He said you were perfect in every way and that we shouldn't change anything about how we are raising you.

I always feel proud when Dr. Stone tells us that.  Proud for me and proud for you.  You are thriving, and I am making sure that it happens.  We're in this together, baby.

And then...the shots.

We've elected to do the doctor's traditional scheduling of shots, which meant at your two month check up, you received the vaccines for DTaP (something, tetanus, and pertussis), polio, and some other fun things.

I was so nervous the whole appointment, knowing that these were coming.  The nurse laid you down on the table and pulled out all those mean needles.  When she began the first shot, your little bottom lip poked out, and you looked at me as if to say, "MOM, why are you letting them hurt me????"

I couldn't stand it anymore.  I busted into tears and put my face up close to yours.  We both cried our way through the shots (I even think daddy teared up, but he probably won't admit it).  The nurse was very quick with the shots, but to both of us, it felt like hours.

As soon as the nurse was done, she said I could pick you up.  As soon as I held you close to my chest, you stopped crying.  The nurse said, "WOAH, that was a quick recovery."

Mommy makes everything better.  :)

You ran a little fever after your shots and slept a lot.  I stayed home with you the next day, and you were feeling much better by the next afternoon.

Your two month check up isn't the only thing you've done this month.

You went on your first trip to the zoo.

The best part of the zoo trip is that your daddy HATES the zoo, but went anyways.  He later admitted that he had a lot of fun with us, but I'm pretty sure it was all because of you.

You went on your first trip to Jackson to see the Parrish and Bankston clans.  Daddy couldn't go with us, so you and I made the trip by ourselves.  We had a fun time at lunch with Dollie, Nanny, Daddy John, Aunt Deb, and you met Aunt Laurie and cousin Haley for the first time.  Then we went to cousin Hayes' birthday party at Aunt Pam's where you met LOTS of family, including all your boy cousins - Banks, Hayes, Sam, and Jack!

Mommy officially went back to work and you are staying with Mrs. Maegan on days when both mommy and daddy have to work.  Mrs. Maegan has two awesome little girls, Chloe Belle and Lily, and they are loving having a new little play mate around.

You smiled for the first time voluntarily.  There are no words to express how this made me feel.

You now officially sleep in the pack and play at night.  You have to sleep in the swaddle because you wake yourself up with your hands.  I put you down about 9pm every night.  You usually cry for about 10 minutes, but soothe yourself to sleep.  Sometimes you wake up when daddy comes home, and daddy takes care of you.  Sometimes you don't.  You usually wake up around 2am or 3am for a feeding.  Daddy and I alternate these.  Then you wake up again around 6am or 7am.  GiGi says you look like a butterfly pupa in your swaddle.

You do tummy time, but you're not a big fan.

My favorite day this month was Mother's Day!  This is my first Mother's Day on this side.  You and daddy gave me a cast iron skillet (he DOES listen!) to make corn bread in.  I've got to get it all seasoned up to use!  I also got a sweet card from you and Daddy, and Charlotte too.

Dollie and Aunt Deb came over for lunch on Mother's Day.  I actually cooked!

Mother's Day was so special with you to hold.  I am so happy you made me a mother.

Daddy's favorite thing this month is taking care of you in the mornings and his off days.  He loves spending this precious time with you.  You love your daddy so much.

My favorite thing this month is that you recognize me.  When I come home from work, you break out into this precious smile.  I love that you know me just by my face now.

Major news events in your second month of life:

Dick Clark, Donna Summer, and Junior Seau die.

Andrew Luck of Stanford is first pick in the NFL Draft to the Colts (and Bama boy Trent Richardson is picked third to the Browns!).

Facebook goes public with its IPO.

Some more fun pictures from this month:

This is what the house looks like when I leave for work in the mornings.

You love to sleep.

Out for the day with Mom and Dad

Enjoying the sunshine coming through your window during play time.

Watching American Idol with Daddy on a random night off from work.

You make the best faces.

I tickled your big toe for this smile.

Napping...your favorite thing.

I am so looking forward to your third month.  We don't really have anything major planned, except to watch you grow even more.  We're watching for you to start reaching for things, improving your head control, and the beginning stages of teething.

I am not ready for teething.

 

I love you, my sweet angel.  You are amazing.

Becoming a Mother

Before I became a mother, I could savor the taste of my food, instead of wolfing it down to get to a crying baby faster.

Before I became a mother, I could use both of my arms, instead of having one always taken by a baby.

Before I became a mother, I could watch tv shows in peace, instead of getting up every five seconds to make bottles or replace a pacifier.

Before I became a mother, I could nap any time I wanted, instead of trying to catch fifteen minutes of shut eye in between loads of laundry and feedings.

Before I became a mother, I could get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, instead of getting up at midnight, 2:00, 4:00, and 6:00.  

Before I became a mother, I could run to the store with just my wallet, instead of a diaper bag.

Before I became a mother, I could spend hours on the couch snuggled up to my husband,  instead of bouncing a screaming baby on my knee.

Before I became a mother, I smelled like perfume, instead of formula.

Before I became a mother, I viewed stretch marks as shame, instead of battle scars of being a home for a baby for nine months.

Before I became a mother, I could go to bed when I wanted, instead of at the same time every night after reading Bible stories and rocking you to sleep.

Before I became a mother, my world revolved around me, instead of around a baby who needs my constant love and attention.

Before I became a mother, I napped on the couch by myself, instead of with a sweet baby on my chest.

Before I became a mother, I had a flat stomach, instead of a pooch as a reminder of your growth.

Before I became a mother, I only dreamt about you, instead of living day in and day out with you.

Before I became a mother, I knew only the love of my mother, instead of the other side that she told me about for so long.

Before I became a mother, I never understood how I could love something so much, instead of not being able to imagine life without you.

Before I became a mother, I had a hole in my heart, instead of my heart bursting with joy every time I look at you.

Thank you for making me a mother, Brooke Allen.  There is nothing more I've ever wanted out of life than to love you.  You are my most precious gift from God, and I pray that I can be a mother that you can be proud of.  Thank you for blessing me so much already with your little life.

We Were Young Once, Too

Today, I found some old pictures of me and your daddy.

It made me remember life before you, which I quickly forgot last July when I found out I was pregnant.

Your daddy and I used to do lots of fun things before work, money, and sleep/eat schedules got in the way. 

We would hang out with our friends until 2am.

We went to races and concerts. 

We went bowling and to movies.  

We went to football games and baseball games.

We had parties.  

We went on trips to New Orleans whenever we could and spent too much time on Bourbon Street.  

We could drop everything and drive down to the beach when we were in Dothan for the weekend (that’s where your daddy asked me to be his girlfriend).  

We didn’t have to plan a week in advance for a date night.

We had no schedule, no agenda, no ties.

We were fun.

By the time you read this, you probably will think we are ancient old folks who were never cool and control your life.  We surely don’t understand how you feel and what you’re going through.  We don’t understand the need to skip class because you’re tired or you want to hang out at the pool with your buddies.  We don’t understand why you spend so much money because having a social life is expensive.  We don’t understand why you need to go on that trip on Spring Break. 

Life is so complicated, isn’t it?

But your daddy and I have been there, done that. 

I can assure you that we were fun.

But we grew up.  Somewhere along the line, keeping the power on and buying groceries became more important than spending money on bar tabs and Taco Bell.  Having a career meant getting up at the buttcrack of dawn, or, in your daddy’s case, coming home at the buttcrack of dawn.  Spending time with just each other was more fun than getting a big group together.

Preparing a life to bring you into the world trumped it all.

One day you are going to reach this realization also.  You’ll find a man who makes you want to be fun, but in a different way.  Fun as in buying your first home, getting a puppy, and having a baby.  Fun as in throwing wedding and baby showers for your friends.  Fun as in looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas so you can see your family.  Fun as in dropping the baby off with a sitter so you can steal away with your husband for a few hours. 

Yes, life is a new kind of fun since you were born.  Just now, our fun ends around 9pm so we can get you to bed on time because you wake up at 6 every morning.

So, I promise, Brooke Allen, when you think we don’t understand what it’s like to be young and spontaneous, we actually do.

You’re just more important.