Dear Brooke Allen

We checked on you this morning. :)

Your heartbeat is still strong and feisty at 148. It's a far cry from the first few times we heard it though - at 178.

I just have a sneaky suspicion by the way you move and how fast your heartbeat always is that you are going to be A LOT like your mother, and not like your father.

Except for that head shape. Still worried about that.

Dr. Hudson seems to think that you are going to make your appearance before your due date, which is scheduled for March 23rd.

He mentioned that several times during our appointment today.

I've been saying that for a while.

I'm thinking we should aim for St. Patrick's Day - March 17th. You are EXTREMELY Irish, and you can be our little Lucky Charm - which, coincidentally, is all I want to eat nowadays.

Good thing your daddy moved to evening shift so I can eat Lucky Charms for dinner (sometimes 2 bowls) and not feel guilty for not making a hot meal.

And if you are born on St. Patrick's Day, it's more incentive for me to buy that cute onesie at Carter's that says "Kiss Me, I'm Irish."

I can't wait to kiss you.

I thought I was going to meet you the other night. I woke up with STRONG contractions on Saturday night. I've had some small "practice" contractions for quite a while now, but I've never had any wake me up.

I sat on the edge of the bed timing them for about an hour, but none were ever close enough to be worried about it. Charlotte helped me time them - she stayed up with me through the whole ordeal. Your daddy, not so much. He woke up once, asked me what was wrong, had a small panic attack, and went back to sleep.

I figured I really didn't need him at that moment. I could wake him up when I knew it was time to go.

In between contractions, I was making my mental list of all the things I was going to need to do before we left for the hospital. We're going out of town this weekend, so I haven't packed our bags for the hospital yet. I was planning what would go in the bag for the hospital, remembering where our spare pillow cases were, thinking about what make up I was going to take, if I needed to shave my legs...

Lots of things were running through my mind.

But the biggest thing running through my mind is how much I'm going to miss you when you're born.

I know that I'll have you on the outside, but I'm going to miss you being on the inside.

That may sound crazy, but you are my little buddy in there. You have been with me constantly for 8 months. For 4 months, I've been able to feel you moving. I track your progress every week - how you're growing, what you're doing, and what you've accomplished. I know where you are, and I know that you're safe and warm.

After you're born, I won't have that security anymore. You are going to be a part of me - on the outside. I'll SEE you kicking and moving and hiccupping, but I won't feel it anymore.

I think I may feel empty for a while.

But my heart will be full. Because I'll finally see your sweet face. I'll hear your sweet breaths. I'll hold your sweet little body with my arms. I can comfort you when you're upset, feed you when your hungry, and enjoy each and every moment with you.

Most of all, your daddy will get to experience this. He doesn't feel you move all day long. He doesn't get to have conversations with you. He's only felt you kick a few times, because you're stubborn, and when daddy comes over to feel you move, you stop. He will get to hold you and talk to you and love you finally.

I can't wait to see his face when he holds you for the first time. I'm going to try as hard as I can to take a mental picture of that moment, and store it in my happy box in my mind, so I can visit it any time I want.

And you are welcome to come home any time you are ready.

We are ready for you.